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Brooke and Boaz
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Hyenas Forever Sweatshirt

Hyenas Forever Sweatshirt

35.00

These HYENAS FOREVER sweatshirts are supersoft and printed on the Oregon coast on the royalest blue Bella+Canvas sweatshirts.

When I grow up I want to be a female spotted hyena. Girl hyenas are the boss.

Girl hyenas are violent when they need to be and they howl at the top of their lungs, and they always get first dibs on zebra meat. When the zebra meat runs out they eat bones and skin.

Girl hyenas are so strong that male spotted hyenas are afraid of their newborn daughters.

And I’m not sure how else to say this: they have a seven-inch clitoris shaped like a penis. Mating is difficult and giving birth is almost impossible - but girl hyenas can handle giving birth through a seven-inch pseudopenis tube, it’s just part of what being a girl hyena is about.

Maybe, whether you’re a girl, boy, animal, or human, you’re sort of already a girl hyena on the inside, and I made a sweatshirt so you can be one on the outside too.

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